He Said/She Said Review: Vibrating Panties

Sigh. Valentine's Day just wouldn't be the same without sex toys, would it? My original plans for my brand new Remote Control Fantasy Panties was to head to the nearest Starbucks, put the remote control on a random table, and attach a post-it note that said "This controls a pair of panties with a vibrator inside of them: do the right thing." I thought it would be some great performance art or something.

Instead, Sam and I headed to the mountains for V-day, and as with any trip into nature, we got diiiirt-ay. We had just shared a bath, and I decided to surprise him with my naughty underroos! Much fun ensued, but you're not here to read about the sloppy personal details; you're here for the review.

Virgie Said: Overall, I give the vibrating panties an A-
They gained points in
Category 1 = Comfort: They are thong-style panties, which I'm typically not a fan of, but they weren't skimpy and the material settled securely on me. I chose the plus size version of the panties, which was a good choice. The adjustable velcro made them roomy and easy to put on (and take off). As I always say: Life is hard enough, my vibrating panties should be comfortable.
Category 2 = Cuteness: They come in black and have a textured, faux animal print on them. It reminded me of those cute Hallmark cards that have fuzzy animals on them. It adds character.
Category 3 = Completeness: They came with all the batteries needed for the vibrating egg and the remote control (total: 3). They also included lube and toy cleaner, which was very nice of the manufacturer.
Category 4 = Pleasure: Yummy vibration! There's only 1 setting, but the vibration was pretty intense (for an egg vibe) = Me likey.
Category 5 = Value: I say they're worth $36. This is definitely a "novelty" quality toy (so I wouldn't recommend that you buy these if you're a remote control panty queen and want to use them all day every day), but they add fun to an otherwise "eh" Tuesday night fuck.
They lost points in
Category 6 = Ease of Use. I had a pretty hard time getting the vibrating egg into its rubber pocket in the crotch of the panties (but to be fair, the panties do come with lube, so you could probably put a couple drops on the egg for better slippage).

Sam Said: All in all it is pretty hard to find anything bad to say about a toy that enables you to pleasure your foxy lady without having to put down your cigarette. And the vibrating panties are nothing if not low maintenance as, once you have put the batteries in the right way round and flicked the switch, there is noting left to do but sit back and listen to your partner's satisfied moans and squeaks of pleasure. While this is all sorts of awesome, I can imagine it losing its appeal pretty quickly, at laest to the one not wearing them, and I could wish the panties were a tad, perhaps even a smidge, more interactive - a choice of speeds for example (preferably, high, ‘oh my god’ and nose bleed) would have been nice – but only in the same way that I wish that all foot paths were carpeted and lampposts were made of milk chocolate. There is of course only so much vibrating horse power that can be fitted into a egg, which can in turn be fitted to panties, and within the limitations of the form these panties are just about flawless, and would make the perfect romantically nasty present, being both sexy just as naughty panties and being a fun, hot and nut-busting, but not threatening sex toy. Even the textured egg covering, while rubber, black and bigger than you would expect, looks almost exactly like a rubber raspberry and is thus cute rather than intimidating. If however you want intimidating, the panties are well, and thoughtfully enough designed to allow them used as a sinful addition to any number of deviant and delicious indulgences.

As such I would recommend them to almost any man, whether he is trying to win the heart of a new maiden fair, or just looking for a sweet and sexy gift for his Soul mate. With this in mind, I’m giving them an easy nine and only withhold the perfect ten because I don’t do tens for anything that doesn’t actually irreversibly raise the bar on sex.

Virgie Said: Mmmm... God, I love vibrators :)

Are You Orgasmically Challenged?

If you're anything like me, you have a real hard time nutting to the beat of everyone else's drum. And even a seasoned orgasm subversive wants to just fall in line and take the path of least resistance from time to time.

Hi. My name is Virgie, and I'm orgasmically challenged. It all goes back to the breast fetish... the inability to orgasm without thinking of boobies. Boobies are endlessly hot, so it's not the orgasms - exactly - that are the challenge. It's the trying-to-orgasm-with-other-people thing that seems to be the problem. And even things like cumming with a vibrator or a dildo are quite challenging for me because I'm quite dependent on my hand. If I went to a therapist, I'd get what's called cognitive-behavioral therapy. And I'd probably be on a strict diet where I'd only be allowed to masturbate via the ways that I hate (I hate them because they take longer.. sometimes way longer and because they don't always lead to an orgasm).

It seems to me that many people have some trouble with orgasms: Everything from the old-school vibrator-dependency all the way through to the guy who holds his dick too hard while he's jacking off and doesn't know why he can't get off in anything beside a vice-grip.

The last thing I read on the subject said that about half of U.S. women don't orgasm during intercourse (but many can orgasm through oral sex). Diversifying the way that we orgasm can be a tall order, and it's hard to try new things when you know what works. If you were to listen to experts like Carol Queen, you'd learn that practice is the key to cumming this, that, and every way; if you always lie on your back when you masturbate, try lying on your stomach or on your side. It's like exercise for your clit.