I just got a gig as a sex toy reviewer for SexToy.com. Below is my inaugural review.. Bon Appetit!
If you're anything like me, you’re a helpless tit addict, a full-blown nipple-loving fiend. You're a breast and nipple connoisseur of sorts, and you're likely often disappointed by what the porn industry has to offer by way of breast and nipple "specialty" porn, i.e., big breasts, lactation, etc. Also, if you're anything like me, you get a chill at the sight of a pair of enormous nipples, especially when they’re being licked, teased and sucked. I have to admit, the inclusion of bouncy-nippled lactation superstar "Devine" was the reason I opted for Battle Ultra Milkmaids 4. And what a good decision it was!
Scene 3 makes the purchase well worth it. If you love big tits topped with juicy, fat nipples go directly to Scene 3. I’m a very picky girl who’s been obsessed with breasts and nipples since my diaper days, and Devine receives an A+ and two tits up (my highest score). She starts out in a little red babydoll and strips down. Plenty of close-up nipple attention highlights the impressively hefty milk releases that she's capable of producing from her rather large jugs. Her co-star's face gets a drenching and so does his cock. The scene apexes (for me) when he takes to tasting and draining her nipples. This is definitely one of the longest, hottest nursing scenes I have ever seen. I came twice within 12 hours of getting it in my hot, little hands (and that's pretty good for a girl ;)) with a little help from my trusty vibrator.
I’ve managed to find this hard-to-find lactolicious star (Devine) only a handful of times in 10 or 15 second clips online. It was love at first sight. This seems to be one of the few films she's in. She's a golden find for nipple and lactation enthusiasts alike.
The film works in nipple bands, dildos, lots of traditional fuck sequences, and they even manage to work in a clit pumping. There's, of course, a lot of milk squirting - on mirrors, on the camera lens, on penises, faces and sex toys - but I would have liked to see more attention given to the nipples and breasts all this milk was coming out of.
Beside Scene 3, the remainig scenes receive a cumulative C or C+. Scene 1 is girl-girl. One of them has delicious breasts; they both have beautiful sets of nipples but I'm not crazy about the unexpectedly abrupt ending. Scene 6 is 3-on-2, and I have a real soft spot for the sight of two mouths on a pair of tits, but the mouth action doesn’t last too longn and is "oomph-less." The other scenes are what I would dub “ok,” but my criteria for great lactation porn are 1) big tits, 2) big nipples, 3) lots of nursing, 4) lots of close-up breast attention. I found that most of the cast had medium-sized, lackluster breasts and nipples and minimal attention was given to them. There was quite a bit of close-range camera work, which was a plus, even though I wasn't so interested in the focal points.
The title "Battle Ultra Milkmaids" brings to mind images of enormous-breasted, naked women tit-duking it out in a tarped ring where the winner has to suck the loser dry or at least get milked like a lusty little cow, but it felt more like a traditional, low-budget porno with incidental milk leakage + 1 incredibly, worth-the-buy scene.
Stay tuned for next week's review of The Inflatable Wedge! In the meantime, go shop for some scrumptious sex toys!
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